Messaging Or Phone Call: What’s a Better Follow-Up to a Date

After a successful first date it’s always a great feeling to get her agreement on the matter. After all, if you both think it was a success, there are good chances of a second and more dates. The question is, how to go about getting her opinion. The most immediate methods are messaging and a phone call, but each have their advantages and disadvantages, so you’ll have to weigh them against each other. Wrong timing and a poor choice can make the best date turn a little sour. Thankfully, the answer to this question can be easily found by having a good overview of the pros and cons of each:

Pro’s and Con’s of Messaging

The most obvious advantage of sending a message or text is that you don’t accidentally disturb her during something important. It’s also good if you yourself are pressed for time, but just want to send something nice or ask a quick question, like if she got home okay. You can also carefully choose your wording, if you’re a nervous talker. Additionally, it’s her choice when and how she replies. However, this can easily also become a problem. Messages are often read and put aside to reply later, but are quick to forget, so you might not get a reply at all. Sending a second text raises the question of having good timing, since too soon will make you look desperate and needy. A good waiting time is one or two hours, if it’s on the weekend or in the evening, while more is good when she’s at work.

Pro’s and Con’s of Calling

"Find out about her interests before calling her"

“Find out about her interests before calling her”


Calling her is great if you both have time and if you want to assure yourself that you both enjoyed the date. It opens the option of setting up a second date. Without being personally present, it’s also easier to focus on what she’s saying, rather than getting distracted by her looks or something happening around you. If you both like each other, it’s also a good way to tell, since you’ll start picking up a lengthy conversation without intending one. Long periods of not saying anything signify the opposite. On the down side, calling is always dependent on timing, since it needs immediate attention. Calling at the wrong time, like at work or when she’s on the road, will rather annoy her and it’s possible she won’t answer the phone at all. It also needs a certain privacy, which is not always available. Like with messaging, calling too often in a too short of an interval will give off a clingy vibe, even more so. Make it a rule to only call twice a day, tops, when she answers the phone. If she doesn’t, wait an adequate time or until she calls back.

Additional Factors

"Sometimes it's better to wait for her reaction"

“Sometimes it’s better to wait for her reaction”


Some people are more partial to one or the other. This isn’t something you can really predict, but can get a good hint of by simply asking or waiting for her prompt to either call or message her. Her own actions are also a sign as to what she prefers.

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