Common opinion is that having faults is a bad thing and that they’re detrimental to dating of all kind. But dating is a lot like selling a product, just in this case, you’re selling yourself. Naturally, you’ll put forth all your positive traits and skirt the negative ones, but sooner or later one or two will slip through. This is why you should keep a positive attitude toward your faults – they’re a part of you, after all. Unless they turn you into an unsociable person nobody wants to deal with, you aren’t forced to get rid of them entirely. Faults can actually be quite charming, if you utilize them correctly.
Recognizing Your Faults
The first and most important step is to know wherein the problem lies. Sometimes it can be obvious, like unpunctuality. However, it can also be so subtle that even your friends might not notice, since they learnt to deal with it. An example for this would be being quick to jump to anger. To find your own faults, it takes some introspection, observation and asking around. Your first stop should be your friends and family. Ask them if there’s something to you that they consider a fault. This is a very critical step, since it’s very easy to feel attacked by their criticism, especially if it’s clumsily formulated. Try to take their words neutrally, as if you weren’t asking about yourself, but someone else. Once your friends have pointed you in the right direction, observe yourself in situations when your fault tends to rear its head. Often, you’ll notice that they’re right or you’ll come across something different that can be just as equally be considered a fault.
Finding What Needs to Be Slightly Adapted
Through your self-observation, you’ll understand how your fault works. By taking a step back during your observation, you can pick up on whether or not your behavior is justified. Since it’s considered a fault, it most likely isn’t. But this is the key. The moment your faulty behavior pops up is usually not the right one, that’s why it comes across as a negative trait. In faults that are not dependent on situations, such as unpunctuality or being sloppy, you need to find a way to turn it to your advantage. If you’re notoriously unpunctual, let the date waiting on you know when you’re running late and find a way to keep them entertained while they’re waiting. If you’re sloppy, ask for her help with a smile and add a compliment, like that she does whatever needs to be done better than you do.
Admittedly, giving your faults a slight twist won’t always work. Being late by two hours is never going to look good. But by knowing and acknowledging the problem, especially toward the woman you’re dating, you’re showing that you’re not only capable of taking responsibility for yourself, but also of admitting to your own mistakes. Adding the ability to laugh about your own mistakes and faults, along with showing interest in making them a little better can be very charming.