How Your Word Choice Online Scares off Women

Even though online dating is getting more and more widely accepted, there are still a lot of guys online who don’t have a lady’s best interests at heart. Even though you’re not one of them, the women you chat with don’t know that at first. If you’re an energetic man who aggressively pursues a woman you want you could be labeled a creeper. It’s not fair, and here are the red flags you could be sending up that are ruining your chances. Cut these from your vocabulary and you’ll be happier and have better luck with the ladies.

Any Vulgarity Sends up an Early Red Flag

"Your vulgar comments may end the game"

“Your vulgar comments may end the game”


There may not be such a thing as unladylike language anymore, but you’ll want to keep a polite tongue in your mouth for your first few messages. Swearing doesn’t just make you seem more sincere; it also makes you seem angrier. Anger is a huge turn off for most ladies dating online. You want to seem like a calm, relaxed man who isn’t a threat to them. Sure, dropping an F-bomb won’t sink your chances with her once, but it is the kind of thing that can make a woman uneasy.

It’s not fair, but you should try to remember this information even if the woman is swearing herself. Just because she’s doing it doesn’t mean that she’ll be comfortable if you do it. Once you’ve met her in person you can tell what’s appropriate for your conversation.

Subliminal Cues from Violent Imagery

"Stop acting aggressively"

“Stop acting aggressively”


The woman you’re chatting up probably won’t think anything of it if you say that you’re going to get groceries because they’ve slashed prices, or that you’re going to take a swing at your to do list. Consistently using violent imagery, however, can raise a few red flags. If you’re always “killing it” at the gym she’s going to start to feel uncomfortable. If you can’t think of a metaphor that doesn’t involve death then you should just cut them out of your conversation altogether until you can think of some. It sounds so silly, and it sort of is. It’s true, though. Using violent expressions will make a woman perceive you as more violent overall. This is a game changer for many ladies. If you find yourself getting worked up over ripping some guy to shreds (in a game of pool), you should switch the topic to something a little more relaxed as soon as possible.

Proper Grammar Is Well Received

Even if the lady you’re chatting up doesn’t follow grammar rules online, no guy has ever lost a date because he said “you” instead of “u”. This also eases the risk that you might send one stock message full of chatspeak and short hand to a woman who absolutely, positively doesn’t want that. Keep your messages as close to perfect grammatically as you can and you’ll be able to appeal to a wide variety of women. Whether she’s a grammar nut or not, you can’t go wrong with a little care.

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