How to Avoid Being an Inconsiderate Date

It’s not possible to know the success of an already organized first date, but there are many factors that play into that – some are beyond your control, others you can use to your advantage. One of the things that puts women off indefinitely is being inconsiderate. While you can’t possibly take everything into consideration, you can show her that you acknowledge and respect her opinion. Although this sounds a lot like being a super nice guy asking to be used as a doormat, it isn’t. You can still continue to remain true to yourself, all while being good relationship material.

Things to Consider: The Planning Stage

You’ve met a great woman online and she agrees to have a date with you. Usually, this goes along the lines of one of the two of you asking if the other would like to meet. Now there are two possibilities for you to organize the date:

1. First, you can simply decide without asking her preferences and risk that she’ll say no.

2. Second, you can take the time to toss ideas back and forth with her.

Even though the second option takes up some time, which goes against your initial desire to want to see her as soon as possible, it’s more favorable. For a first meeting, women usually prefer a familiar public place where they know they can easily leave if need be. Don’t take this personally. This is her being cautious of the few people who make this a necessary step. Not to mention that there are factors like her allergies and partiality to crowds that also are important to consider.

Things to Consider: The Date Itself

"It's time to spend some quality time"

“It’s time to spend some quality time”


This is not about putting on your best gentlemanly behavior. If that’s what you’d naturally do, then go ahead, but don’t bend over completely just to advertise yourself. Should you continue dating, sooner or later it’ll come out that you pretended to be something you weren’t and she won’t appreciate that. Instead, this point is about showing her your interest without making her feel crowded – because too much affection can scare a woman off just like no affection will make you look indifferent. Pay attention if she leans toward or away from you. In the latter case, you might want to back off a bit to not ruin your chances.

Things to Consider: The Follow-Up

After a date, the biggest question is when you should call – that is, if you decided that you would be the one to call. If both of you settled on letting her take care of the post-date phone call, stick to that, even if you’re itching to know your chances for a second date. Should the wait exceed a certain time frame, like a week, then carefully contact her without demanding for a reply. Otherwise, should it be up to you to call or contact her, don’t immediately ask for a second date. Inquire about her position toward your date and go from there.

She’ll be glad that you’re not pushing her into anything and will be far more relaxed when it comes to you. Remember, being a little considerate can go a long way.

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